I had just started peeing when the phone rang.

"Oh damn!" I thought, knowing who it was and faced with the dilemma of wanting to talk to her, but being in the middle of something very important.

*second ring*

"Should I stop or finish?" I thought to myself. Stopping is just bloody painful, as I'm sure you know. Finishing might take too long and I'd miss her call (note: it was too late to call her back for fear of waking up people who shouldn't be woken up).

*third ring*

I flex my stomach muscles in an attempt to finish faster. Then I realize that due to physics that's probably not going to happen (Boyle's Law clearly states that only so much volume can come out of an opening or something like that). "Hurry!" I think to myself.

*fourth ring*

I can hear the pause as the answering machine is playing it's outgoing message.

I finish and run out of the bathroom, through my bedroom, down the hall, through the living room and into the kitchen, grabbing the phone just as she starts leaving her message.

"Hey!" I say.

"Hi," she says, "what are you up to?"

"Oh, I was just peeing, trying to decide whether I should stop and answer the phone or finish up."

"And the verdict was?" she asks.

"I finished up and answered the phone!"

"I'm so proud of you!**"

"Wait!" I say, "It gets better! Not only did I manage to flush the toilet on my way out but I think... let me check... Yes! I even put the toilet seat back down! Impressive, huh?"

"Very impressive baby, Very!**"

"I'm pretty good boyfriend material just by that fact alone, huh?"

"Yes dear," she says, "I consider myself a very lucky girl!**"

Taking a macro approach though, we can truly see the importance and why I might say something as foolish as the fact that putting the seat down in such a rush, involuntarily even, makes me good boyfriend fodder. See, I contemplated stopping peeing to talk to my girlfriend. You know how much that hurts! I know you do! I dare say that after a year and a half the magic is most definitely not gone!

Of course, when I wrote last time about me being lucky to have such a brilliant girlfriend, we can see now that it's obviously a two-way street!**

** Denotes sarcasm