Things not to do during communion, Chapter 1: Bring your own butter to put on the holy bread before dipping it into the sacramental wine.

Having spent enormous amounts of time not sleeping in preparation for said midterm, and upon taking said midterm and finishing in 45 minutes, I hereby announce: DAMN IT! (note to readers: graduate level tests seems to take between 2-3 hours on average, except for my Quantitative Analysis final, which took 16 hours - I'm not making that up).

I'm of two opinions here: either it was really easy or it was really hard but I studied so much that it seemed easy. I prefer the latter, but I really think it to be the former.

The above was written obviously in the midst of my midterms, which were close to two weeks ago, respectively. Actually, don't respect that. I'm a slacker! However I'm a slacker who got a 98 and a 92 (respectively) on his midterms. Unfortunately, I don't care anymore. I just want to be done (respectively).

I'm wondering what makes some "small business people" think that they have the winning formula. There's always a couple of places in town that are affectionately referred to as "The place where businesses go to die." They are black hole, Bermuda Triangle-esque locations that no business has ever done well at and no business ever will. I passed one today, with a banner hanging over the old sign of the restaurant it used to be (last week). The Italian Deli no one has ever heard of has been replaced with a Mexican restaurant no one has ever heard of. I give it two months, tops. I hate to be mean (no, wait, I don't), but what would make anyone in their right mind think that they've got the winning formula? I can hear them saying to themselves "The last 18 restaurants that have been at this location have failed in the last 24 months (respectively), but I think I'VE got the secret!" Hey wait, I just realized that my Master's classes have made me more sarcastic!

Whilst attending a performance of a comedian the other night at Centenary my cell phone rang. Seeing it was one of my girlfriend's friends I handed it to my girlfriend for her to answer. She walked to the back and talked and then came back to me and handed me the phone to talk to said friend, at which point the comedian incorporated us into his act: "How cute! You two share a cell phone!" I heard him say as I was heading to the back. I heard him ask Erin if we were living together and after she curtly responded "No" he dropped the bit. After coming back and sitting through the rest of his bit, one of the guys at the table mentioned to me that he would have liked to see the comedian try and taunt me, because he thought I would have been one of the few people in the room who could have retorted with something wittier and eventually either A) made the audience laugh at the comedian and not me or B) made the comedian cry. I think that's a super compliment!

There's an extremely well-written piece at Salon.com on Nirvana and the impact of Smells Like Teen Spirit on our generation.

Unsolicited emails are getting downright dubious. Case in point:

The email is received (content removed to show just the handy opt-out link):

Being of sound mind and body, I immediately "click here" to unsubscribe from the list, only to be taken to this web page:

And who am I to argue with them? I mean although technically I did RECEIVE the email at that EMAIL ADDRESS, how can I argue with their LOGIC that I'm not on their list? It makes perfect sense to me! Just like this letter in Tell the Times (the area of the local newspaper where idiots get to prove inbreeding DOES have side effects by calling in their complaints for the rest of us to read):

Whoever thought of daylight-saving time wasn't thinking about families with small children. How am I supposed to get my children to sleep when it's still daylight outside? Also, that extra hour of sunlight is killing my lawn.

I swear to God I did not make that up.

On that note I'm going to go pray for our souls. Except you in the back.

P.S. - I'm graduating soon.