My top five all-time quotes of the day, as judged by me, and featuring 20% more quotes than a regular top-five list:

Number 6 (originally published on 03-21-02)

Rusty, while dining on empanadas at the Noble Savage: Man, I feel so sophisticated. And, I don't feel sophisticated very often.

Cherie: All it takes is a knife and fork, huh?

Number 5 (originally published on 03-14-01)

John (on my getting to work on time): Did your bed kick you out?

Number 4 (originally published on 07-24-00)

Ami: Why put off until tomorrow, what you can put off indefinitely and no one but you will notice?

Number 3 (originally published on 09-12-00)

Deana: Slap. Does that have two p's in it?

Me: It does when I do it.

Number 2 (originally published 01-19-01)

John: So where was he from?

Adam: I don't know, some latino country, I think it was Texas.

Number 1 (originally published on 05-08-01)

Anne: Procrastination is the same as masturbation. They are both fun and games until you've realized that you've fucked yourself.

Did I leave off a personal favorite? Email me with corrections.