01-25-08:

Me, on non-existent business terminology metaphors: How would you say "cock-block" in a business setting?

10-04-07:

Newbie, on the golden eggedness of a particular individual: He does not poop diamonds, he poops poop.

10-03-07:

Me, on golden egged fables: I want to poop tiny little diamonds, but with soft edges.

09-13-07:

Newbie, on strep throat: Apparently I can't get it, I can just a carry it and infect people. I can just prance around happily while I infect people with my doom. I'm like Typhoid Mary... I'm Streptoid Newbie.

09-06-07:

Me: We've got too much marketing junk in our trunk.

01-05-07:

Me: They say people with glass houses shouldn't build rocks. I'm not sure why they say that.

12-08-06:

Newbie, to Ray: I would hate having you in my house.

12-07-06:

Bill: I am glad the world is full of stupid people so that I have someone to take advantage of.

07-25-06:

Slogan, etched on the back of a local septic truck: We're #1 in the #2 business!

02-10-06:

Jack-In-The-Box Drive Thru Lady (after working with the customer for 2 straight minutes on her "no mustard, no lettuce, extra ketchup, extra pickles, no cheese, lite mayo" order): Why don't people order their food just regular?

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